Secrets
by PhoenixBlaze5
Summary: Something I been writing when I find time. Berwald is having trouble with his relationship and Mathias is there as a form of comfort. Sorry bad summary.
1. Chapter 1

It always ended like this. Mathias and I laying together, naked and basking in the afterglow. His hair is even more in disarray, if that's possible, and those clear blue eyes I've come to love are lightly closed. Even with the bliss that we shared, I still feel guilt in the pit of my stomach.

You see, this wouldn't be a problem, if I didn't already have a partner waiting for me at home. Not only that, but we have two kids together. So what am I doing in the bed of a bartender at our regular hang out? Well, it's not like I had planned for this to happen, especially since I couldn't stand him when we first met. Mathias just had something about him that I couldn't quit, like he was a drug. Looking back at everything, I guess he kind of is.

With my conscious eating away at me, I shuffle out of his bed and search for my clothes. A familiar pain shoots through my lower back, but I've grown so use to it that it doesn't bother me like it use to. "That time again?" I hear Mathias' voice break through the quiet of the apartment. I just let out a grunt in response. "You know that may be part of your relationship problems."

I pause just as I pull my pants up and turn my glare to him. "Maybe it's sleeping with our bartender." I say coldly, my accent mudding the words a little.

Mathias let out a light chuckle. "Maybe." He voice was like a soft breeze, as if he was actually considering it. I took a second to look back at him. He was laying on his back, gaze turned towards the celine. Turning back to grab my shirt, his next question caught me off guard. "How is your little family by the way?"

My body stopped for a fraction of a second before continuing with it's actions. "Fine. The boys are about to go on break and Tino was talking about planning some kind of trip." I replied, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I think he's trying to reassure the bays that everything is okay between us." My shoes seemed to be more and more interesting with each sentence.

I could feel Mathias shift. "It could be good for you two. Get away, spend time together, and remember why you chose one another." Turning my head, I saw him lean over his side table and grab a pack of cigarettes. "You think he suspects anything between us, cause I'd really like to not get caught up in all your drama." He remarked lighting up.

"Don't you think it's a little late for that?" I shot back.

He just shrugged and took a long drag. "I suppose you're right. Just keep it out of the bar. Don't want my boss firing me for have brought it upon him."

I shook my head. Tino wouldn't have noticed. He's been too busy ignoring me and throwing himself into his own work. I've noticed he's taken to going out more with his friends and when he is at home, he's attending to the boys. We've seemed to created two different lives within our family. I don't blame him. We've been together since the first year of high school and never had a chance to really live beyond that. Not saying I regret it, but like him, I think I've come to grow bored with the usual routine. I hate myself for it, but something in the back of my mind keep saying that Tino might be doing the same thing.

"I thought you had to go." Mathias drew me out of my thoughts and back to reality. "You just froze up." He said as he got up to put at least a pair of pajama pants on. "Anything you want to talk about?" He asked plopping back down next to me.

When he tried to put a hand on my shoulder, I retreated, almost in disgust. Not with him. No, I don't think it could ever be with him now, but with myself. "No." My voice seemed more horse and tired than before. "Goodnight." I muttered before heading out of his apartment and to my car. As soon as I slammed the door shut, I collapsed over my steering wheel. The exhaustion, both physical and mental, finally starting to take its toll. When I was finally able to compose myself, I made the all to familiar drive back to the house I shared with Tino.

On the outside, it looked like a perfect home, with the perfect yard and the perfect family. It was part of the façade we have both been living since we started to drift. Trailing myself up the walkway, I notice that I would soon have to cut the grass and maybe trim the tree that hung over the porch. Those were a fraction of my job as the "man" of the house, as Tino would bitterly state. When we were still in our "honeymoon stage", I would jokingly call him my wife and he would laugh and put up a weak resistance. Now, every like joke seemed like if was an undercover stab at each other. A way to hurt the other without alerting the kids.

All these thoughts flashed through my mind as I trudged up stairs to our shared room. Tino laid under the warm covers, his back to me. This was another thing I've come to be use to. It's his way of displaying the wall growing between us. I understand, and even though he doesn't seem to know about my weekly events, I feeling like this is a way of me being rightfully punished for it. Pulling off my clothes, for the second time that night, and cautiously getting in to bed clad only in my boxers and under shirt. Sleep came easy to me that night, to my surprise, allowing me a rare dreamless sleep.

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><p>The morning sun shining in my face through the open window awaked me. A chill blew through it, causing my body to shiver beneath the thin sheet. Instinctively, I reach behind me to feel for Tino, and like every morning, he wasn't there. Groggily, I put myself out of bed, take a shower; get dressed, and head down stairs to start my day of acting. At least until the boys leave.<p>

Everyone is already at the table, enjoying bowls of cereal and toast. As much as I care for Tino, his cooking was not one reason I fell for him. "Good to see you're finally out of bed." Tino commented, not looking up from the morning paper. It was more of a subtle taunt, but it was ignored since the real fight would happen later on.

Peter looked up for a second, but when back to his cereal. Bjon just flat out ignored our conversation. I take his lead and quietly went over to pour myself a cup of coffee. As soon as I sat down, both boys jolted up, threw their dishes in the sink, and left with a quick good-bye. This left Tino and I sitting in a tense silence, one that seems to follow us like a ominous shadow. Deciding to be the one to break it this time, I set down my mug and cleared my throat. "How'd you sleep?" I asked, staring at the paper that blocked my view of his face.

Folding the paper, Tino set in neatly on the table and looked me straight in the eyes. "I would have slept better if my husband was actually sleeping next to me. Where were you last night?" There it was the question that I dreaded. I must have taken too long to answer since he let out a sigh. "Fine. Don't tell me, but know I'm getting sick of it." He slid out his chair and stood up. "I didn't stay in this relationship to become ignored by you."

I wasn't going to take that. He was the one who started going out with his friends, staying out later and later, no call. Now I was being yelled at about doing the same thing? I could take all the words unsaid, but not being outwardly accused by a hypocrite. Slamming my hands on the table, I caused Tino to jump and let out a small yelp. "Who do you think you are to call me out o this? You're the one that started this! Now you don't like that I've given in and I'm playing by the rules you set out!" I pulled myself up to lean on the table. "You're going to make me out to be the total bad guy in this equation? No, I'll admit I'm not a saint in this relationship, but you have no right to throw stones at me and turn the boys against me!"

He stared at me, wide eyed and mouth hung open. "Are you trying to put this on me?" Tino yelled back after coming out of his initial shock. "The only reason I started going out was because you buried yourself in work! You made me feel alienated in my own house! I only had the boys to talk to and I just couldn't take it anymore!" I don't think I've ever heard his voice reach that level of anger. "I'm not even sure I wanted the kids, but I agreed because it made you so happy! So, why can't you be happy for me when I find something to enjoy?"

That was the last straw. I stood up and headed past the Finn. Storming to the front door, I grabbed my coat, knocking over the coat-rack in the process. "Where are you going now?" Tino called following after me into the cold. "You can't just run away from this!"

I held on to my rage as I got in my car and started it. He was still yelling for me, but I blocked it out with the radio as I pulled out of the driveway. There was only one place I felt like I could go and I was hoping he would be in.

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><p>Banging on the front door, I had been able to calm down on the ride, but I must have still seemed upset. Mathias opened it with a look of shock on his face. He shut it a bit as if he was trying to shield something. "Berwald? What are you doing here, especially at this hour?" It was around 1, but considering his late nights, I suppose it was an odd time. "Are you okay?" He finally asked seeing the distress in my eyes. Closing the door behind him, Mathias step out of the doorway.<p>

"I'm sorry." I mumbled. "I just didn't know where else to go at the time."

Mathias nodded. "Well, what happened? Did you have a fight with Tino or something?" He asked, hitting the nail on the head. I nodded and he let out a soft sigh. "Come in. I have somebody over, but I don't think he'll mind." Dragging me in to the living room, he motioned for me to sit in the worn out armchair across from a lean blond. "Lukas, this is Berwald. I hope you don't mind if he hangs around here for a bit."

Lukas raised a thin eyebrow, as he seemed to stare me down. "Not at all." Leaning back, he crossed his arms and continued to study me. "It'll be nice to finally get to know your toy." Mathias seemed to falter on his way back from the kitchen, and I shot a look at him.

"Not now Lukas!" Mathias yelled as he handed me a mug of hot coffee. Lukas just had a smug look on his face as he was also handed one. "Anyways, do you want to talk about what happed Berwald?" I just shook my head. Mathias' eyes shot to Lukas and then back to me, showing that he understood that I would talk when we were alone. "Anyways, Lukas and I were just about to get something from a nearby diner. Would you want to join us?" Taking one glance at his friend, I gave a slight nod. Even though Lukas made me a little nervous, it still felt good to know that Mathias wasn't just going to turn me away.

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><p><em><strong>AN: This is just something I was working on in my free time. Not sure if I'm going to write more to it or not, but I wanted to at least put this up. Thanks for reading and reviews are greatly accepted. :)**_


	2. Chapter 2

When we arrived at the diner, opting to take my car since it had a minivan, that Lukas seemed to get a kick out of. The platinum blond was starting to get on my nerves, but I gathered his comments were turned towards Mathias in some kind of inside joke between them. I was still unnerving. Sitting in, what much have been their usual, booth a young and grouchy teen came over.

"Why do you both insist on always coming in on my shifts?" The pale boy asked angrily as he tried brushing back some of the messy, white strands that starting falling in to his eyes.

Lukas shifted in his seat and leaned forward on his elbows. "Dear Emil. You know I come in to support your job and make sure you're doing well in your classes." A twinkle of excitement flashed over his eyes so quickly it was almost like it was never there.

Emil groaned and slumped over a bit while Mathias laughed at the young male's pain. "Oh come on Icey! You know seeing us is the highlight of your day! You get to act like you're taking our orders for a little and not have to deal with any elderly couple that could come in. They'll have you standing there for ten minutes and then decided on the first item they looked at, leaving you to be behind on tips and moody when you got home later." With a huge smile on his face, Mathias took a menu out from under Emil's arm and handed to me. "Besides, we brought another person along and who knows, you might have a new regular!"

"Aren't you going to ask what we'd like to drink, little brother?" Lukas asked, taunting the boy again.

With his pale face flaring up in a red tone, Emil turned his lavender gaze towards me. "What can I get you to drink sir?" His voice turned shier and more embarrassed.

The title of "sir" always made me feel weird, maybe because my step-father always made me call him that or just being put in an older category. "Berwald." I offered instead and Emil nodded. "I'll just take some coffee." He didn't seem to mind my muttering or leaning forward on my elbows, and he hurried off to get the table a fresh pot and mugs, Lukas getting up to follow him.

Mathias turned to me and nudged me to make sure he had my attention. "That's Lukas' younger brother, if you couldn't gather." He laughed as he drummed on the table. "Emil lives with him while he's attending a nearby college. Smart kid, but he can get very emotional, hence Lukas picking on him all the time." I nodded, showing him I understood. Taking up on the gloom atmosphere, he took a more serious approach. "You wanna talk a bit while the brothers and off?" Mathias asked leaning in a bit to try and see my face that, at this point, I had hidden behind my hands.

Letting out a deep sigh, I took off my square framed glasses and set them on the table. "Tino called me out on my late nights and told me he wasn't sure he even wanted our kids." I said flatly, trying not to let any emotion show. I was good at that by now.

Feeling a strong hand on my shoulder, I looked over to see a blurry Mathias. Even without my glasses I could see he was not happy about that news. "It wasn't fair for him to use your kids as a tool against you, and don't you dare for a second think that this is any reflection on how you are as a parent." There was a pause as he let his words sink in. "Are you and Tino still going to plan that camping trip, or do you not know?" Mathias' voice was barely a whisper, which startled me. I wasn't use to his tone being so soft and calm.

I just shook my head as Lukas and Emil came back. "Here's your coffee, Berwald." Emil said, sounding irritated while his eyebrows knitted together. Putting down my coffee, the teen then pulled out a worn down notepad. "Are you ready to order?" He asked ignoring his brother as he retook his seat across from Mathias and me.

Before I could open my mouth, Mathias answered for me. "He'll take the same as us." Taking the menu from in front of me, he gave it back to Emil who nodded before heading back to the kitchen.

Lukas, who was looking something up on his phone, was next to speak up. "Don't worry. Mathias actually has good taste when it comes to dinner food, so there's no need to worry." His eyes seemed to drill in to the glass screen, which was a relief to me.

"Awwwww!" Mathis let out as he leaned over the table, almost in the other blonde's face. Lukas' deep eyes shifted for a fraction of a second before going back to his phone. "That sounds like a compliment, Luke." He placed a hand over his heart. "It's enough to bring a person to tears."

Lukas ignored him and turned his cold blue eyes to me. "So, I've heard a little about you here and there. Anything you'd like to share with me personally?" He asked, a smirk pulling at his thin lips. I couldn't help but notice that he was very astatically pleasing to look at. His thin lips helped give the look of him having larger eyes than they actually are, while his high cheekbones complemented the strong yet semi-feminine facial structure. His pale blonde hair looked to be cut shorter on the left side allowing the longer side, that was not held back by a set of bobby-pins that were in a sort of cross shape over one another.

I shifted in my seat. "Depends on what you've heard." I stated, locking eyes with him.

"Good answer." He remarked as he took a sip of his coffee. Mathias seem to just observe the interaction be us, which sort of shocked me. "To be truthful, the most I know of you is that you're a regular at the bar, you have a family and are sleeping with this idiot on the side."

Mathias chocked on the sip he was in the middle of. "Hold on Lukas. There's a bit more to it than that." He turned to me. "I haven't told him all the detail, I swear!" I wasn't too upset with Mathias since that is the main summary of our relationship, but I did want to see how he'd handle it. I guess that's how he must feel while watching Lukas and I. "Lukas! Is this really the place to discuss this stuff?" Mathias continued to ramble while everyone at the table seemed to ignore him. Even Emil, who walked by to drop off some rolls seemed to only raise an eyebrow before going back to the safety of the kitchen.

It was only when Lukas seemed to have enough when Mathias was cut off. "Relax you idiot. No one is here yet and it's not like I went in to that much detail about it. I was just answering Berwald's question." When he finished, he leaned back with one arm over his chest and the other holding his coffee that he was happily sipping on.

Mathias let out a nervous chuckle. "I guess you're right." His usual grin that I've come to, dare I say, love plastered itself across his plump lips. God! Keep your head out of the gutter Ber! Anyways, Emil rushed over, a dark blush on his face and two plates in hand.

"I'll get the other plate." He grumbled as he headed back to the kitchen, where an Asian boy looked as if he was trying to hold back a laughing fit.

Mathis turned to see what I was looking at then leaned back. "That's his friend Leon. Don't worry, he picks on Emil even more than Lukas does." Lukas hummed in agreement. "It's actually pretty amusing to watch. Maybe you could hang out a Saturday night I'm not working and we could all have a small party at Lukas'." Mathias turned to face his friend. "What do you say Lukas?"

The other blond seemed to lull it over. "As long as you're going to bring liquor, I don't see a problem with it. Just make sure that you don't break any more of my pans." Lukas shot him a glare. "I paid a pretty penny for them."

The bartender waved him off. "I know, I know. I paid you back for it remember, besides that was one time and it was because Emil's bird attacked me." Emil heard Mathias as he came back and ended up almost slamming his plate down.

"If you would have left him alone, there wouldn't have been a problem." I was beginning to feel bad for the albino teen as he stormed off.

"What do you do for a living Lukas?" I asked as I took my fork and picked at my plate. A awkward air began to surround the table and I could feel Mathias tense beside me.

Lukas smirked putting down his coffee. "A story for another time. Now eat, the meal is on me." Mathias seemed to relax a little as Lukas started to eat, but I still felt on edge for some reason.

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><p><em><strong>AN: So I actually decided to write another chapter for that in between my classes. Let me know what you think. :)**_

_**Guest: Thanks for the review on the first chapter! :) Hope you still think it's promising!**_


	3. Chapter 3

Throughout the meal I felt myself beginning to relax more around Lukas, but something was still not right. No one talked about family life or work, aside from Mathias who shot off names of random regular that he saw and talked to through the week. I learned that this was Mathias and Lukas' day to catch-up since Lukas was usually looking after his brother or working and couldn't go hang out with Mathias that much. This information make me feel as if I were intruding, but at least Lukas seemed to not mind that much, even going as far as asking me a few things when Mathias wasn't trying to bring me in to every conversation.

That's something I was grateful for when I met Tino, He was always a social butterfly while I was still stuck in a cocoon like state. Though I got my light features, like my hair and eye color, from my mother I was more like my dad personality wise. Having Tino around made things seem less forced and easier for people to get over my intense gaze. Mathias was like that too, but he didn't seem to be fazed at all by it, even when there are still times when even Tino gets nervous. It hurts now that I see Lukas doesn't get intimidated either, it's also nice since he is also less energetic than the other two males.

After we were all finished and Lukas paid, he looked to his watch and looked to Emil, who had joined us after his shift ended. "Well, it's been nice, but I have to get going. As always good to see you Mathias." He and Mathias shared a quick hug, which made my stomach ach even though it probably shouldn't. The shorter man than turned to me. "Nice finally meeting you Berwald." Lukas held out his hand and I responded by taking it and shaking.

"Likewise." I muttered before he ushered the teen, who was glued to his phone, out. I turned to Mathias. "Isn't his car at your place?" I asked, still watching the two head down the street.

Mathias hmmed over his coffee, before following my gaze. "Oh! Don't worry about it. He lives close by and he'll end up getting it sometime later today. That's how our meetings usually go, much to Emil's displeasure." He laughed at this and continued to drink the black liquid. "So, now that it's just us, what do you want to do? Get some drinks? Catch a movie? Or just go back to my place?" Mathias asked leaning back, propping his left leg on his right knee and stretch his left arm to rest on the back of the booth seat.

I looked to my watch, and groaned when I saw the time. "Kids should be home soon." I grumbled setting down my coffee. "Should probably go home." Shifting, I signaled for Mathias to move so I could get out, which he refused. "I have to go."

"Are you sure you're going to be okay? I don't work tonight and it's fine if you want to stay over." He remarked turning his gaze to the table.

A smile tugged at my lips. When we first started our arrangement, our rule was not to get too attached, that it was only for fun. It was going smooth until things started getting worst between Tino and I. Even though Mathias could talk a deaf person's ear off, he was strangely enough a good listener and would always offer for me to stay after the bar closed. I don't know exactly when it changed, but I like to think Mathias felt just as strongly for me as I do for him. Since I do have a family, I know it wouldn't be fair to make him promise to only be with me and it did hurt every time I heard he had slept with someone else. I know a cute blonde woman has shared his bed a couple of times and a Dutch man once or twice. I have my concerns about his relationship with Lukas as well, but that could be me just being paranoid and jealous.

"Can't have my kids worry." I said with a sad smile on my face. "Sorry."

Mathias waved it off. "Not a problem. Just wanted to make sure you'll be fine." He took one last sip before getting up. "You're not offending me." He remarked slipping out of the dinner, with me in tow, back to my car. The ride back to his place was quiet aside from the radio that was at a low grumble. When I pulled up to his apartment building, Mathias unbuckled himself and leaned over. "It was good seeing you, as always, take care." He said before pulling me into a deep kiss. I couldn't help but kiss back with just as much enthusiasm. Before it could get too heated, he pulled away and laughed. "I thought you had to go." The Dane joked before getting out and waving as he headed up to his place.

I ended up sitting there a little while longer to calm myself and not run up after him. Damn that Dane! When I had finally cooled down, I headed home to find that I was able to beat the boys home. Tino was in the living-room, typing something on his computer. "Tino." I called to him as I entered and sat down in the armchair near him. He ignored me to continue his work. It wasn't till I said his name again.

Shutting his computer, Tino sighed and looked to me. "Where were you?" He asked in a calm voice. When I didn't answer, he got up and headed to the house phone. "Fine, don't tell me. I'm ordering Chinese. Are you going to be joining your family for diner?" He asked in a snappy tone.

"We need to talk about this whole situation." I said forlorn way.

Tino stopped and turned back to me. "What is there to talk about? You just went off without telling me where after you come back late the night before. How do you exspect me to feel about that?" His head fell as his hair covered his face. "I know I've been in the wrong before and I shouldn't have said that about Peter and Bjon, but I'm really hurt right now." Tears started to trail down his face and on to the floor.

I got up and walked over to him, taking him in to my arms. "I'm sorry." I muttered as I run my fingers through his hair. "I lost my temper and just needed to cool off." I remarked feeling some of his tears soak in to my shirt.

Tino pulled away to lock eyes with me. "I know, but you have a family. I can't do that knowing that someone has to be here when the boys get home. Knowing that you blame me when I go out with my friends makes me feel like you want me trapped here so you can go out."

A grown grew on my mouth. "I only started doing that because you started ignoring me in favor of your good time." I said, not caring if we started another fight.

"I said I was in the wrong, can we just drop this and try and fix whatever problems we're having?" It was a reasonable request.

"Okay." I breathed before pulling him back in to an embrace. There wasn't the same warmth that it usually hold and it was distressing.

We parted when the door flung open with a blond and red-head in a heated debate. "No way would that pokemon be able to beat a mega-evolution Charzard! You're high!" Peter yelled over his shoulder.

"If you level it up correctly and choose the proper battle strategy then yes it could!" Bjon yelled back.

"Whatever." Peter threw his bag by the door. "What's for diner?" He asked as Bjon stormed upstairs.

Tino smiled to him. "Chinese. Neither of us was willing to cook." He joked leaning on me, his way of showing Peter that everything was fine with us.

"Awesome!" Peter cheered and he raced upstairs as well.

I wrapped an arm around Tino's waist and started rubbing circles on his lower back. He laughed and pushed my hand away. "Not now Ber." He chirped and picked up the phone. "I have to order diner." Leaning up, he gave me a quick peck on the cheek, then scampered off.

Taking a seat on the couch, I turned on the news, not really paying attention to it, but mulling over that lack of the old spark we had. The news anchor went on and on about different events, but none registered. It wasn't until the doorbell rang when I was finally brought out of my thoughts. Tino answered the door, thanking the delivery person and paying before the two teenagers and a small white dog bounded down the stairs. Walking in to the kitchen, everyone was gathered around the table grabbing plates and utensils.

"Alright everyone! Dig in!" Tino beamed grabbing some lo main before it could go. I was reaching over to get the fried rice from Peter when the home phone rang. "I'll get it." Tino shot up.

Peter looked to Bjon worriedly; who intern just shook his head and continued filling his plate. When Peter looked to me and quickly back to his meal, I decided to go and investigate. "No, I can't. Not tonight….He just got back and I don't want to risk another fight….Yeah, that's fine….See you then." Tino hung up and turned in surprise to see me. "Berwald! H-how long have you been standing there?" He asked as a nervous laugh escaped his lips.

"I'm going to pack." I grumbled so as not to alert the boys and let my temper get the better of me. They'll find out later and it won't be pretty.

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><p><em><strong>AN: Whoop, was able to finish this earlier today. :)**_

_**Iwantsmore: Thank you so much. :) IDK why more people don't write about them. . lol**_

_**Guest: Thanks! Personally I don't feel it's THAT good, but it's really awesome to hear! Hope you liked this chapter. :)**_


	4. Chapter 4

"What?" Tino called after me in shock as I ascended the stairs to our room. "Berwald!" He yelled as he bolted after me. We met up by the bedroom door, where I clapped my hand over his mouth and pushed him to the wall.

"Be quiet." I growled lowly. "I don't want the boys to worry. Now what is going to happen, is I'm going to pack a bag or two then I'm going to tell them I'm going on a business trip until I can calm down. Afterwards, we'll talk about how we're going to split everything and tell the boys." I drilled my gaze in to his eyes, that were now triple their usual size. "Is this understood?" Even I was getting scared at how much rage I had bottled up. I loved Tino so much and I knew he was cheating on me before, but just catching him sent me over the edge.

Tino nodded and I released him to pack. He leaned against the doorframe. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "I didn't want you to find out this way." I could tell he was just as hurt as I was.

I signed as I stuffed my phone charger and some contacts in to the bag. "But you wanted me to find out." I replied going to our dresser.

"You're no saint either." He remarked, not to hurt me, but to make himself feel better.

Nodding, I went to the bathroom to get my bath products. "I know, but they never called the house, and I kept both lives separate." Walking out, I saw Tino sitting on the bed, deflated. "We're both to blame though and if we're not happy it'll only hurt the boys more later on."

He nodded. "Are you going to want to eat before you leave?" Tino made a small peace offering. I shook my head. "Okay. I'll be down in a bit." He said looking at my, soon to be empty, side of the bed.

As I got down the stairs, both boys were still froze at the diner table staring at me. Peter, like usual, was the one to break the silence. "You're leaving aren't you." It wasn't a question, he already knew. I nodded. "Do you really have to?" He asked on the verge of tears.

"We need some time apart, but I will be back." I said, my previous plan would have been useless after this.

Peter nodded sadly, pushed his chair away from the table and went to his room. Bjon didn't look up from his plate as he pushed the food around on it. I was about to say something to him when he cut me off. "You don't have to do this, and I know you do it too." I just looked at the disgruntled red-head. "I just want you to know I blame you." I nodded before heading to the door.

Getting in my car, I went to the only place I knew to go. Parking next to the familiar red, sports car, I got out and ascended the stairs. Knocking on the door, I looked down the walkway at a brunette woman and a strawberry blond man yelling at each other. I was pulled away from the scene but the door opening to Mathias in gray sweatpants, a red wife-beater, and a beer in hand. "Berwald? What are you doing back here?" He asked sounding worried. I looked back to the fighting pair causing Mathias to look as well. "Don't worry about them, they always have some kind of beef with each other. Get in here and let me get you a beer." He said, pulling me in and shutting the door behind. "Let me take those." He motioned for me to hand over my bags and took them to his room, before heading to the kitchen. "Here." Mathias said giving me the beer and leading me to the living room, where a Danish football game was on mute.

I sat down with him on his dark tan couch. "Tino and I are going to separate." I said, opening the beer and taking a sip.

Mathias hummed, bringing his left leg up to rest. "What's going to happen with the kids?" He asked sipping his own beer.

I bit my lip. "They know everything and have from the start." I took a long gulp. "Bjon is blaming me for everything cause I wouldn't look past it." I told him as he kept sad blue eyes on me.

Leaning over, Mathias took the beer from me and set it on the coffee table. "It's nobody's fault. If you're both not happy there's not much that could be done." His face was now centimeters away from mine. "Don't let it get to you. He'll understand later." Mathias moved forward and closed the gap between our lips. Leaning in to the kiss I deepened it before he nipped at my bottom lip. Opening my mouth to grant him access, I was pushed back onto the arm of the couch. My arms found their way around his torso while he wrapped one hand behind my neck with the other supporting himself on the old fabric. A surge flew through my body as heat started to pool in my abdomen. God, this Dane would be the death of me. Before I could claw Mathias' shirt off, a banging at the door caused us to stop. "Shit!" he cursed fixing himself. "I forgot Al and Gil were coming over." I gave him a questioning look as I tried to catch my breath.

Shaking his head, he got up and opened the door. An extremely pale man pushed his way in followed by a blond with a stock of hair sticking up defiantly. "Let's get this gaming marathon started!" The blond yelled, eyes gleaming behind his glasses, his smile making his already tan skin look a bit darker. They had yet to notice me, and that was fine in my book.

"My awesome self brought GOOD German beer, and not your crappy Danish kind!" The ghost like man yelled holding up the cases, red eyes focused on his host.

Mathias leaned on the door, head somewhat down and a hand covering his mouth. "What's your problem dude?" The American asked, throwing down a controller and his own pack of alcohol on the coffee table. It was then that he finally noticed me. "Oh. Hey!" He turned back to Mathias. "Why didn't you tell us you were inviting someone else?" He asked flashing me a smile, blue eyes gleaming behind his rectangular glasses.

This got the attention of the red-eyed man, who shot around to look at me. "Isn't he one of your regulars? What's the big idea?"

"Al, Gil, this is Berwald. I didn't expect him tonight, but he's going to be staying with me for a while. Ber, this is Alfred…" He motioned to the blond male, that decided to sit too close to me for comfort. "And that's Gilbert." He jabbed his thumb at The albino as he walked by. "They wanted to have a Halo night that I forgot I agreed to." He remarked, moving Alfred over so he could form a barrier between us.

Gilbert huffed and made his way to the TV. "Fine, I see where we stand in your social circle." He started fiddling with the equipment, setting up the system. "Since he's here, he came be on your team while Al and I kick your loser butts!"

Alfred whooped and threw his controller for Gilbert to hook it up. "You ever play Halo before Ber?" He asked me flopping back with a beer in hand. I shook my head looking towards Mathias.

"He's a noob?" Gilbert laughed finishing the set up and taking the arm chair for himself.

Mathias threw a pillow at him before handing me a controller. "Don't let him get to you. It's easy when you get the hang of it. Now lets do a test run first and then let the game begin." He beamed, before handing me back my beer and taking a swig of his own.

Gilbert opted to grab one of Mathias' "crappy Danish" beer, saving his for later while Alfred talked on about some classes he was taking on the side, which no one was really listening to. Whenever we would pause for a smoke, snack or bathroom break for anyone, Mathis would tease me with touches and kisses when he could sneak them in. Neither of them asked too many questions about me which was good, since I didn't know where our relationship was at this point. This might be a longer night then I thought it would be.


	5. Chapter 5

So, the night wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. We ended up drinking most of it, ordering a pizza at one point and harassed the delivery boy, who seemed to shake the whole time. I ended up getting more comfortable around Alfred and Gilbert, even joking around with them. I can't remember the last time I was able to have a "guy night" like this and to be honest, I really missed it.

At some point, Mathias had told them that we were sleeping together. Alfred high-fived him, while Gilbert cheered because he ended up winning some bet. It wasn't really important to my drunken state and any thoughts that I might have been able to come up with disappeared when Mathias locked lips with mine in a celebratory, lust-filled kiss.

After a few more round and drinks, I was dragged to Mathias' bed, leaving his two guests to their own devises. The only thing that I could, vaguely, remember was the pleasure that ran through me till we ended up collapsing from exhaustion. The last thing I could recall is Mathias' arms wrapping around me before drifting off to sleep.

I was woken the next morning by kisses being placed all over my chest and neck. Opening my tired, aqua eyes, I was greeted with the sight of a grinning Dane. "Wow. You actually stayed the whole night instead of rushing off, Cinderella." He joked, giving me one last love bite. Grunting, I leaned over to give him a kiss. It was like thing at the start with Tino and I, because of that, the thought kept eating at me in the back of my mind. How long will this last? Will we eventually get tired of each other and move on? I can't do that to my boys ever again. I must have zoned out, because Mathias snapped his fingers in my face. "Hey, don't think too much right now. You're here to forget for a while and not worry about any of it." He remarked sitting up and hitting me with his pillow.

"Mathias?" I questioned as he reached over for his usual cigarette.

He put one in his mouth and light it before replying. "Yeah."

I hesitated for a minute. "Where do we stand?" I asked, ignoring my headache, ignoring the faint noises that started in the living room. The only thing that I was concentrating on was the closed off world with just Mathias and I.

Mathias froze, lighter still in hand and cigarette hanging from his lips. Looking towards me, he brought his hands to his lap. "How do you want me to respond to that?" I was confused by his answer. Was he just telling me what I wanted to hear? Before I could find the right words to say, the blond continued. "I can't decide this whole thing. You're apart of this too. I can't dictate your feelings or thoughts. You're your own person." He took a drag of his smoke and took the stick away from his mouth. "Since we're already on this topic, what do you want out of this? Out of what we've been doing?" Mathias asked, not sounding upset, but more curious himself.

Slowly sitting up and propping myself against the headboard, I put on my glasses from the other nightstand. "I have kids to think about." I replied, not looking at him. "I'm not allowed to be selfish and I don't think I could live with myself if I just abandoned them. I love them both too much." I stopped, biting the corner of my lip. "I can't put them through stuff like this again if we're not serious or something happens." Finally mustering up the courage, I looked up to see Mathias looking me over.

"I get it." He said, flicking some ashes in to the ash try by the bed. "Do you not want to try a real relationship with me? I understand if you don't for your kid's sake, but I want to make sure that's what you want. I don't mind fitting your need if you are looking to be serious." The way he said it, he made it seem like such a casual thing.

Looking over at him in shock, my heart began to race. "Do you really mean that?" I asked clenching the sheets in my fists. "Don't you know what that would entitle and what you would be giving up?" I probably should have been up selling myself rather than down, but I had to make sure he knew I meant it and I was doing well for my kids at the same time.

Mathias continued to enjoy his cigarette, ignoring the banging and loud yelling coming from the next room. "Yeah, I'd have to settle down, stop partying with my friends as much, not sleep with random people anymore…." That last one hurt and caused me to wince. "But I will say, don't come between me and my drinking. I'll cut it back a little around the kids, but no way in Hell am I going to lose that in this merger." He stubbed out the stick before lying back on my lap. "Is that understood by you?" Mathias asked, giving me a grin.

A soft smile spread on my face. "Okay." I remarked, as I couldn't help but start running my fingers through his devastated hair.

Mathias motioned for me to bend down, to which I obliged, earning a kiss. "When do you have to go back to work?" Was his next question as he fiddled with the sheet draped over my lower half.

"Monday. Boss gave me Thursday and Friday off last week 'cause of my overtime." I let my eyes scan over his tanner skin, almost covering the light freckles that were dusted across his cheeks and along the bridge of his nose. "You work tonight correct? What about Tomorrow night?" I asked lacing his free hand in mine.

Hmming contently, Mathias stretched out his back and nodded. "Yeah I work tonight and tomorrow. Will you be fine here, or are you going to go out?" He countered as his fiddled with my hand.

"I have to get a few more things from the house and some paperwork that I didn't get to, but that's about it." I paused thinking about my sons. "I might stay the night there so I can talk to my kids about the whole thing. Maybe see what Tino wants to do with our assets." My head shot up when something hit the door.

Mathias also turned his attention to it. "Quit braking my apartment! It's not much but it's mine!" He yelled to his friends, who could be heard laughing. "Those jerks." The Dane smiled and rolled off my lap. "That's fine, just text me and let me know if you're staying the night so I'm not surprised when your not back." Throwing on his sweatpants from last night, he stretched his arms up giving me a clear view of the pin-up mermaid he had tattooed on the left side of his rib cage while the Viking knots on his right shoulder became distorted. Tino didn't have any tattoos, which might have been a factor in Mathias and my relationship. Even though there were something similar between them, there were far more things different. "Get dressed so I can try and kick those idiots out." He said in jest.

I nodded, shifting carefully, as to not strain my soar muscles, getting out of bed and grabbed a shirt and loose pants. By the time I was dressed, Mathias was already in the living room and yelling over his guests about him having to work and not wanting to deal with them and customers. It was all with an underline of joking and they all laughed during the whole ordeal. Walking out, I was able to catch Mathias waving them off before turning to me. "You hungry? I'm making some late breakfast." He said slapping me on my ass as he made his way to the kitchen.

"Don't." I glared at him and rubbed the stinging spot. Following him to the small space, I saw him banging around with pans and ingredients. "Can I use your shower first?" I asked trying not to think anything dirty when he bent over.

"You don't have to ask if you'll be living with me. Mi hus er dit hus." He replied in his native tongue. It dawned on me that when I lived in Sweden, my mother wanted me to learn Danish when she got remarried, but I never took my time to learn Tino's language. Maybe I was more like my mother than I thought I was, leaving my first family for a Dane, that seems to be a theme.

"Tak." I muttered before going to wash myself. After getting undressed and in the shower, I let out a content sigh as the warm water cascaded down my body. I had just finished rinsing the conditioner out of my hair when I heard a knock on the bathroom door. "Ja?" I yelled over the water.

Opening the door, Mathias slid in with my phone. "Your son is on the phone."

I quickly turned off the water and snatched the phone from the other blond, not caring that I was still wet. "Hello?" I answered it, panic finding it's way in my voice.

"Dad? Are you going to be coming home today? I want to make sure I'll be here if so." Peter asked.

"Ja, don't worry about that. Do you want me to stay the night too? We can go to a movie or whatever you want." I replied, doing whatever I could do to make the whole situation up to him.

There was a pause on the other side. "Yeah, that would be fun. Thanks dad." Peter said before hanging up.

Setting my phone on the sink, I wrapped a towel around my waist and got out of the shower as I ignored Mathias. Anger found it's way through my veins as he just stood there, waiting for me to say something. I brushed my teeth and when I was done, I leaned on the sink. "Don't answer my phone again." I muttered through gritted teeth.

"Sorry, I just thought you'd want to talk to him." Mathias countered, but it didn't calm me.

"No. They don't know who you are and it'll make it worse when and if you meet them. I don't want Tino finding out about you by you picking up my phone. Please, just leave it alone." I practically growled at him. Mathias stood there in silence. My eyes soffened when I saw the hurt look in his own. "I'm sorry, I just don't know how to handle all this." My parents didn't handle their divorce well and I suffered through it, I was the one who ended up suffering the most though.

Mathias shook his head. "I get it, but…." He trailed off like he was thinking about how he wanted to work his next question. "When are you going to tell Tino about us?" The Dane asked.

I thought for a second. There wouldn't be a good time in the near future and it would be hard to explain why I was living with Mathias. "I guess I'll have to tonight." I said giving him a worried look. Nodding Mathias ran a hand though his hair before walking out. Good thing I had a fun time last night.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Translation: <em>**

**_Mi hus er dit hus (Danish): My house is your house._**

**_Tak (Swedish/Danish): Thank you._**

**_Ja (Swedish/Danish): Yeah._**

**_A/N: I don't know when the next time I'll be able to post is, but I want to thank the people who have reviewed so far. :) Thanks so much!_**


	6. Chapter 6

The majority of the day was spent lounging around with Mathias on his couch. I flipped through channels while the Dane dozed in and out as he leaned on my shoulder. It wasn't till near seven that Mathias decided to get up and dress for work.

"You should probably start heading out. They might want to have dinner with you." He yelled from the bathroom. I stayed seated, blankly staring at a large poster of the landscape of Copenhagen, his hometown. "Hey! Are you listening?" He said coming out and flopping next to me, shoes in hand.

"Ja, just nervous." I replied turning a worried gaze to him. "Don't know how I'm going to be able to face my kids." The "or Tino" was left unsaid.

Slipping on a pair of worn out tennis shoes, he tied the laces before leaning on his knees in a huff. "Look, you'll do fine. You'll go back, spend time with your kids, then you'll sit down with Tino and figure out what the next step is." Turning off the TV, he pulled out something from his jean pocket and handed it too me. "Here's the spare key to my place, just in case you need to come back here, but hopefully you two won't get that bad." Thanking him, I put the key in my own pocket with my phone. "Now come on, I can't afford to be late again." Mathias smirked, standing up and offering me a hand. Taking it, I pulled myself up and let out a deep breath.

"Hopefully." I muttered as we headed to our cars. "Have a good night at work." I said before leaning in for a kiss.

Mathias accepted it, but gave out a small laugh. "Damn, you got me all domestic like in less than twenty-four hours. How the Hell do you do it?" He joked before getting into his car. "See you soon."

I waved to him as he drove off, finding anyway to delay the inevitable. Finally finding nothing else to stop me, I got into my own car and drove to the all too familiar, perfect house. When I pulled up, I noticed that the grass had been cut, and for some reason that upset me. I knocked on the front door, not knowing if it would still be acceptable to just walk in. It took a minute, but the door finally opened to reveal a happy Peter. He quickly wrapped me in a tight hug.

"I'm so happy that you actually came." I raised an eyebrow, but straightened my face when he released me. "Come on, I've got some games set out for us to play." Peter started dragging me to the living room, when I voice stopped him.

"Peter, dinner first, then you can go off and play." Tino said coming out of the kitchen, Hana right on his heels. He then turned his attention to me. "I hope you're hungry. We ordered some Turkish food from the place down the street." He said giving me a shy smile. I nodded and followed both blonds to the dining table. I noticed Bjon was absent. Tino noticed my look and shook his head. "He's staying at a friend's tonight. Not taking this well I'm afraid." He replied taking his usual seat as well as Peter. I let out a hmm, understanding why she chose not to be here.

It was nice to be able to really sit down and hear about what Peter has been doing and how happy he is when hanging out with his friends. He told me about the clubs he goes to after school and how his hockey team is doing and when his next game is. I can't remember the last time I got to do this without the fear of Tino and I getting in to a huge fight soon after. Not saying that there was no chance of that coming again, but I wasn't thinking about it, all y focus was on Peter. We all got to laugh and part of me started to feel like this was how it was supposed to be, us as a happy family.

After dinner, Peter dragged me to the living room and handed me the second controller. He and I ended up playing one of the sniper games we had till eleven, which was when Tino sent him to bed.

"So, I'm guessing this is the time we talk about everything." Tino said shuffling into the room. Bags were starting to form under his eyes and worried lines were seemed to begin to form into his face.

"Ja." I muttered leaning forward on my knees, giving me better access to coffee table. "Do you have a pen and some paper?" I asked pushing my glasses up so I could rub my eyes.

"Give me a second." The Finn said before disappearing for a moment. I took that time to remember everything about the room before it would ultimately change, just like when my parents separated. First it would be little things, like the pictures, than it would move to the wall color and lastly the furniture. Unless he decided to just sell the house and move. Handing me an old notebook when he came back, he sat next to me. "You have a place to stay right? You haven't been sleeping in your car have you?" Tino asked, fixing his light eyes on me.

Biting my lip, I wrote down both our names on the sheet. "I need to talk to you about that." I said readjusting my glasses. "I'm staying with my new boyfriend." The title made it seem like I was back in high school.

There was a pause before Tino spoke again. "That was fast. Was it the man who answered when Peter called?" His gazed was fixed on the muted TV. "He told me someone answered and he didn't recognize the voice."

I let out a sigh. "Ja, and even though he doesn't know him, you do." I could sense Him tense beside me. "It's Mathias." I answered his unasked question.

"The bartender Mathias?" Tino replied, shocked. "How could you have sex with him? I thought you two hated each other. I introduced you." He was babbling, trying to get his head around the information.

"You slept with Eduard from your job." I simply stated. "I know cause of the way he looks at you, like at the Christmas party you dragged us to." I could see his shift out of the corner of my eye.

"It's all out in the open now." The Finn whispered. "What's our next step?" Tino asked, never having to deal with this stuff before. His parents were married for almost forty years now and seemed to be as happy as ever.

"I want to make it clear that I want shared custody of the boys and no restriction on visitation rights for either side." Tino nodded, knowing my parent's divorce was hard on me. "Next, we'll need to divide our assets. I was thinking we each get our cars, I'll get my clothes and any small important items to me."

Once again Tino nodded, eyes looking as if he were holding back tears. "What about the house and Hana?" He asked, giving the living room a once over.

I let my eyes follow his gaze to the first family photo we took with the boys. "I was thinking you should keep the house since I have a place to go. I'm not sure what Mathias' apartments say about pets so I guess Hana can stay with you too." I noticed that he had started to spin his ring. Looking down to my own finger I slipped the metal off. My finger felt naked with it, but it make me sick to think about all the times I had ignored it, never taking it off when I was with Mathias. "Here." I grumbled handing it to him.

Tino's eyes widened as he looked to it. "I can't take your ring." He squeaked, almost releasing his tears.

"You got them for us when I couldn't afford any." I said, still holding it out.

"I did that because I love you and it's not right to take it back. I know we're ending this, but that doesn't mean I don't still love you. It might not be the same kind of love, but it's still love. I bought it special for you and I want you to keep it to remember me and the good times we had." Tino said curling my fingers around the jewelry. "Keep it as the last favor to me." A sad smile graced his round face.

"'K." I said, looking at the shinny trinket.

Letting out a deep sigh, Tino got up. "I could use a drink. How about you?" He hopped up and headed to the liquor cabnet, cracking it open and going straight for the vodka. "Do you want anything?" He asked, shooting back a shot.

"A whiskey." I said, writing everything down. Tino handed me the chilled beverage before collapsing next to me with his bottle.

Taking another sip, he propped his feet up. "Alright, I have to ask. Is he better in the bedroom than me? I would think he is with his track record."

"It's not about that Tino." I said leaning back taking a gulp of my own drink.

"Never was with you Ber." We sat in silence for about five minutes before Tino decided to get up. "I'll get you a pillow and blanket, then I'm going to bed." He staggered off, collected the spare bedding we had in the hall closet, and brought it back to me. "Hyvää yötä." Was his response before shuffling up the stairs.

Laying back on the couch, I pulled out my keys and examine the key to Mathias' place. It was still shiny and looked as if it were bran-new. It might have been a poor choice, but I ended up hooking my ring on to the bundle of keys. The next thing I did was probably even stupider than that. I grabbed my phone and dialed my mother's number, knowing it was daytime there.

"Berwald? What are you doing calling at this time? It must be so late over there." She asked in Swedish. I felt so nice to hear my native language.

"Hej." I breathed. "It is, but I thought I should let you know that Tino and I aren't together anymore." By no means was I drunk, but I could feel a buzz that calmed me down.

"I'm so sorry dear." I could hear some show going in the background. "What happened?"

I let out a chuckle. "We were both cheating on each other, but to sum it up…" I paused to get myself together. "I left him for a Dane."

My mother didn't answer right away, seeming to think of what could be said. "What are you going to do about Bjon and Peter?" Her voice was soft and comforting. She was obviously trying to ignore what I said before.

"Shared custody. Tino is keeping the house so they'll probably stay here mostly." I answered, not redirecting her.

There was another pause. "I guess you're a bit more like me than I thought." It sounded like she turned of the TV. "The weather has been nice here lately." Her comment threw me off. "It's been a while since I last saw you or my grand-children. Maybe you should come and visit."

"I would love to, but it's just not in the cards now. I have to get everything settled here."

"I know, I was just hoping. Try and get some sleep. You tend to forget about that when you're upset."

"Yes, mother." I replied."

"Good night, and remember you're always welcome to visit."

I said my thanks and good-bye before hanging up. Tossing my phone on the table, I pulled the blanket over me, shifting to find a comfortable position on the couch. Maybe I should call my dad tomorrow.

* * *

><p>Translation:Hyvää yötä: Good night (Finnish)<p>

**_A/N: Thanks for everyone who has read this and reviewed. :)_**

**_Guest: Thank you, I've been trying to add more details to the stories I write, I hoped it would make it better even if it was a little. I appreciate the correction :), I will try to double check any other things I try to translate. ^.^_**


	7. Chapter 7

I was awoken the next morning by the sound of my phone going off. Quickly stretching out the knots that formed from laying on the uncomfortable couch, I reached over and answered it groggily. "Where you sleeping?" The gruff voice of my dad drifted from the phone. My body shifted into a sitting position before I frantically searched for my glasses.

"Dad? This is an unexpected surprise." I said, looking around to see if anyone else was a wake. "What's the occasion?" I asked not seeing anyone.

"Your mother called and told me about what had happened." There was a long pause, neither one of us knowing what to say.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, not really wanting to mess up the quiet between us.

"Why would you be sorry? This doesn't really involve me, it's you that I was calling to check up on." It sounded like he light a cigarette. "How our the boys taking it?"

A sigh escaped my lips. "Bjon blames me and I think Peter is still hoping that we'll stay together. I know the feeling of wanting that, but looking back and dealing with it myself now, I understand that it's not always for the best." I know at this point my dad had to have shrugged.

"What happened between your mother and I is in the past, you need to focus on what's going on with your family now." Even if he was a man of few words, they were usually filled with wisdom. "Are you going to bring him home or am I going to have to fly over there myself?" He asked releasing a deep, throaty laugh.

"I'd have to talk to Mathias about the whole thing. I'm not living in the house, I'm actually living with him right now and we'd have to see if we could even get off work at the same time." I replied.

"Mathias?" He asked, sounding like he was in deep thought. "Is that a Danish name?" Was the next thing he asked.

I paused for a second. "Yes."

My father didn't say anything to that and I knew he was comparing me to my mother. "I'll talk to you later, I've something to do." He finally said before hanging up.

I sat on the couch, blanket half thrown on the floor. The room was still dim, aside from the sun shinning through the thin curtains Tino and I had picked out when we first bought the house. They matched the furniture in the deep blue while contrasting the off white walls that almost gave me a headache during the summer. I would have to call my dad again sooner and try to fit the unspoken break in our relationship.

Peter came rusting down the stairs like the devil was on his heels. The look on his face showed fear. "Dad! You're still here!" He exclaimed as he bolted over to me and wrapped his arms around my neck.

Instinctively, I returned the embrace even though I was confused. "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?" I asked, loosening his tight grip.

Peter looked away from me and bit his lip. "I've just been having dreams where you just walked out and I never see you again." He stopped and moved to sit next to me. "Mom said that your father did that to you for a few months after your parents left each other. Will you do that to us here?" He asked, addressing the elephant in the room.

I rubbed his back, trying to comfort him. "Never." I said in a soft voice. "I will not leave you no matter what."

"But what about your new boyfriend? You might end up spending all your time with him and not realize that you forgot about us."

I pulled him back in to a hug. "Never going to happen." I said making sure that Peter understood this. "Go get dressed and we'll go see whatever movie you want." I said letting him go.

Peter nodded and headed back up stairs.

Leaning forward, I pushed my glasses up and rubbed my eyes. It was then that I realized that I might have to sit down with Peter as well, and since e has his own issues with abandonment, it would be a lot harder than with Tino. While I was wallowing in this, said Finn entered the living room. "How'd you sleep?" He asked.

"Fine." I replied, repositioning my glasses and pulling my bag over to look for a change of clothes. "You?" I asked to be polite, knowing he had our soft bed.

"Alright. I'm about to make coffee and start on breakfast. You want anything specific?" I shook my head before he took his leave to the kitchen.

Grabbing my clothes, I made my way to the guest bathroom near the stairs. Its been ages since I last had to use it, when Tino's parents came to visit and we used a blow-up mattress. The lighting was dim and it could use a cleaning, but it was useable. Stripping from last night's clothes, I got in to some fresh ones before I realized I left the rest of my bath supplies in the living room.

"Please just try with him. It's not all his fault and he loves you. You're breaking his heart." Tino's voice rang out from the back porch. I quietly maneuvered my way to the kitchen doorway.

"I don't care! I don't want to see him! Just leave me alone!" Bjon yelled and upon seeing me, his frown deepened before he stormed out.

Tino turned around with apologetic eyes. "He'll come around." It seemed more like a pray than a comfort it was meant to be.

Letting out a sigh I shook my head. "He's always been resentful towards me." I said shuffling back to the guest bathroom and finished getting ready. By time I was ready, Tino was calling Peter and I for food. He had fully set the table with every type of juice we had in the house. "Table looks nice." I commented after taking my seat. Peter soon joined us afterwards.

"Thank you!" Tino beamed as he floated to the table with toast in hand. "So what are you boys planning on doing today?" He asked putting some eggs on his plate.

Peter grabbed some bacon. "Dad and I are going to the movies." He said excitedly. "Oh Dad, can we go to the dollar theater? That way we can watch multiple movies all day." The gleam in his eyes made it impossible to say no to.

"Sure." I replied, taking a bite of food. A smile graced his face and the morning continued peacefully. I can't remember when there wasn't a threat of horror lingering over us afterwards. Tino joked about stuff at work and I caught glimpses of the Tino I fell in love with. Noting this, I froze and couldn't help but lock gazes with him. Noticing my staring, he also stopped. His eyes seemed to plead with me, asking some unknown question. "We should get going Peter." I said, eyes still locked with the Finn.

"Okay." Our son said before popping up and putting his dish in the sink. I followed suit, breaking eye contact with Tino and heading out the door.

The rest of the day was spent with Peter jumping from theater to theater, watching any movie that started when the last one ended. It was nice spending quality time with him and not worrying about anything else. "I think my favorite one had to have been the King's Men." Peter said as we pulled back in to the driveway. "Are you going to be staying the night again?" He asked on our way to the door.

Knocking on the door, I shook my head. "Can't. Got work tomorrow and have to go back to the apartment for my suit." I said waiting for Tino to answer the door.

"Couldn't you just stay? I'm sure you have atleast one suit in your bedroom closet."

"I just can't." I replied, but Peter wasn't going to leave it at that.

"Why not? I thought you said you wouldn't put your new boyfriend over us. Aren't we supposed to be at the top of your list?"

I couldn't help but lose my temper and the worst part is I don't know why. "You are, but it's not my bedroom anymore! Tino and I aren't getting back together. This can't be fixed by a few nice days!"

Peter's eyes welled up and as soon as Tino answered the door he ran past him and up to his room. "What the Hell was that about?" Tino asked, turning in to mama bear. "There was no call for you to yell at him like that!" He yelled at me.

"I…" I was cut off before I could get anything else out.

"You know what, forget it. Good night Berwald." He said before shutting the door on my face.

I stood on the porch debating on whether I should try knocking to try and apologize or just going back to Mathias' and letting them cool off. In the end, I wound up driving back to the apartment. Ascending the stairs, I passed by the couple that I saw the first night still fighting. I unlocked Mathias' door with the key he gave me and was greeted with an angry Dane seated on the couch. "Hej." I said sitting next to him.

Mathias turned off the TV and turned to my with his arms crossed. "Are you going to just ignore the whole thing?" He asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I tried calling and texting you all day and you never answered." He said pulling out his phone to show me. "You promised to text me if you were going to stay the night and you never did. I know I might sound like a clingy girlfriend or something, but you kinda had me worried. I ended up taking off work to make sure I didn't end up getting a call about you from the police." Mathias stared at me expectantly.

I leaned back. There was no way I was in the mood to be chewed out by my boyfriend as well. "First off, they wouldn't call you. They'd call Tino since I'm still "married" to him." Mathias' face looked like he was about to explode on me. "And second, I'm sorry." My voice was soft and I looked him in he crystal blue eyes sincerely. This seemed to help cool him down.

"Well…You should be." He replied, his demeanor relaxing. "Okay, now I'll ask, what happened?" I gave him a questioning look, to which he just raised and eyebrow and let a smirk play on his lips. "Come on. I know when you're upset."

I couldn't help but let out a chuckle. "I yelled at Peter and really upset him. He wanted me to stay and asked why I couldn't. I ended up snapping and telling him we'd never get back together."

Mathias sighed and cuddled in to my side. "Give him some space and I'm sure he'll get use to the idea." He pulled me in for a sweet kiss. "But I will say that was an ass move to yell at you kid." He said when we broke apart and laughed when I slightly shoved him. "Come on." He said pulling me up and to the bedroom. "You need to get some sleep." Following blindly, I couldn't help but remember both my parents suggesting a visit. Maybe it would be good for my relationship with the kids if we saw them.

I was pulled to bed with Mathias helping me out of my over clothes. "What about me sleeping?" I asked kissing the Dane's addicting lips.

He grinned. "You should know by now that that's just a ploy to get you in my bed." The blond pulled me back in to a heated kiss. Even with the hot man that I was making out with, I couldn't keep my mind off the conversations. "Stop thinking." Mathias muttered without breaking the kiss.

"How do you feel about taking a trip to Sweden?" I asked in to the kiss. This caused Mathias to pull back and raise an eyebrow at me.

"I'm sorry? Can you say that again?"

I searched his eyes for any protest. "I was just wondering if you'd be willing to come to Sweden with me and the boys if I decided to go." I said trying to gage his reaction.

"Well, maybe I should meet them before you start thinking about me going on a trip with all of you. It might also be a bit much to go all the way to Sweden." I nodded and tried to lean in for another kiss, but was held back. "You know, maybe you need to go to sleep, since you have work." He said before turning out the light and settling down.

Adrenaline shot through my veins. How had I been able to screw up so much in one day? Panicked, I couldn't help but shake Mathias a bit. "What?" He asked looking at me like I was crazy.

"What did I do? Whatever it is I didn't mean to upset you." I blurted out.

Grabbing on to the back of my neck, he pulled me in close so our noses were almost touching. "Don't take it the wrong way, but I think you might be trying to rush this a bit. Give the boys more time to adjust." He paused looking to my lips. "And I think I need some more time to get use to the idea of being a type of step-parent." I quickly nodded, still feeling on edge. Mathias gave me a small smile. "Good." He gave me one last good-night kiss.

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><p><strong><em>AN: Sorry it took so long, but I've been a little busy with messed up schedules._**

**_Cardfighter By Maple: I'm so glad you're enjoying this story and I hope you liked this new chapter. :)_**


	8. Chapter 8

Mathias' POV

I laid awake the whole night, thinking about our talk. It didn't help that he had his arms wrapped around my waist. Every time I would shift, he'd let out a groan causing me to still. My mind would not get off the trying subject and it started to feel more real. It's not just the fun time like before, he has a family that comes with him. Don't get me wrong, I had a great family life. A loving mom that encouraged me along with an attentive dad that taught me sports and how to stand my ground. I like children just find, but for some reason I don't think I can see myself being a kind of parental figure.

Finally deciding that I wouldn't be able to get sleep, I carefully got out of bed. Padding to the living room, I grabbed my phone from the charger, and headed out the door. Dialing the first number I could think of, I waited till the line picked up. "What do you want at this time of night?" Lukas' voice whispered.

"You raised Emil for a good amount of time." I stated, thinking of a smooth way to ease in to my question.

"Yes, you know this. If there is not a better reason than to state something you already know, I will have to kill you." His usual monotone voice had an underline of anger to it.

"How was it? Was it really difficult for you to adjust to being a father figure or were you just able to jump in to it?" I asked leaning over the guard railing.

There was a pause on the other side of the line. "Mathias." He let out a deep sigh. "Why are you asking this now? Can't it wait till the morning or when I'm not busy?" I could hear Lukas typing something.

I took a deep breath. "Berwald wanted me to take a trip to Sweden with him and I think become more involved with his kids." I said running a hand through my hair.

The typing stopped and everything went silent. "Did you tell him about your discomfort?" He finally asked.

"Uh….Sort of." I shifted from one foot to the other. "I told him I'd have to meet them first and that might be a little much right now." I waited for Lukas response that, would most likely, make me feel dumb.

Another deep sigh was released. "Idiot. You need to flat out tell him that those sort of situations don't make you comfortable. He needs to take your feelings about this in to consideration and go at a pace you're okay with." His typing continued. "To answer your previous questions though, no it wasn't easy. There were many times I felt like a total failure and Emil hated me." I hummed to let him know I was listening. "When dealing with these type of situations there will always be an adjustment period for everyone. They'll try to push and see what they can get away with and see if you're really going to stay. On the other side, you'll be learning things they like, don't like, and who they are as a person. It'll be rough at first but I'm pretty sure you'll do better with it than you think you can."

I smiled. "Thanks Lukas. That really helped."

"Yeah, well I have to find some way to help you, otherwise you'd keep me up all night." Lukas tried covering up his kindness. No way was he going to let it out that he actually cared.

"Who says I'm not going to keep you up either way?" I asked playfully while raising an eyebrow, even though I knew he couldn't see it. "So what are you working on?" I asked hoping to get something from him.

The typing stopped again. "Mathias." His voice was soft and almost comforting. "Go try and get some sleep. I'll see you in a few days and we'll talk more about your problem." He said before typing once again, leaving no room for argument. "Good-night."

"Night." I breathed out before hanging up. This crisp night air reminded me so much of back home. Taking a deep breath, I let my eyes close and thought back to my younger days. A time when my dad would regularly take me out on his boat or play football with me and when my mom would teach me how to bake. A soft smile graced my face as a breeze ruffled my hair.

"S'nice huh?" A deep voice startled me out of my thoughts.

I whipped around to see Berwald shutting the door. "Yeah it is. What are you doing up?" I asked taking in his devastated appearance. "You looked like you were comfortable."

He shook his head and joined me on the rails. "Woke up to go to the restroom and you were gone." Berwald stated pulling out my cigarettes and taking one out before he handed them to me.

"Sorry, I couldn't sleep." Nodding, he light his stick. "Since when do you smoke?" I laughed, though I was a little shocked since I don't think I've seen him smoke.

Handing me the lighter he took a drag. "I quit my second year of college." He said looking it over. Berwald then looked to me and I could see that he saw my concern. "Tino made me quit. Didn't really want to. So why couldn't you sleep?" He asked as I light my own cigarette.

"Just thinking about some things. I came out to clear my mind before I went back to bed." He gave me a questioning look, but did ask anymore about it. We smoked in a comfortable silence, just enjoying one another's company. Looking over to the Swede, I couldn't help but notice how a peace he looked. His beautiful sea foam eyes were clearer since he must have left his glasses inside, which made me wonder how well he could see without them. "Hey Ber?" I asked and he turned his gaze to me, squinting as if he was trying to get me in to focus. "I need to tell you something." I said, licking my lips that seemed to be way too dry.

"What is it?" He asked calmly.

"I don't think it would be a good idea or me to meet your kids." I stated, not even having enough courage to look him in the eyes anymore.

There was a pregnant pause and I could feel the air tense. "Why not?" He asked sounded a little hurt.

"I just don't think I can be a parental figure. Sure, I'm cool with baby-sitting some of my friend's kids, but they go home and I'm able to be the fun uncle. But it's different when you're having to actually be fully responsible for them around the clock." I thought Berwald would laugh at my concern, but I was surprised when he started nodding his head.

"It is scary at first." He said staring unfocusedly at the parking-lot. "Tino and I thought we'd mess up when we first brought each boy home. It gets easier the longer you do it, but I don't think anyone can be perfect at it." He let out a chuckle. "Plus, I don't think you'll have to be a parent around the clock. Tino will most likely have them a good portion of the time." He stated as he stomped out his cigarette.

When I finally turned towards him, I noticed a faint smile on his lips. "I'm pretty sure they hate me though." I voiced and his face neutralized.

"Can I suggest a deal?" He asked seriously and I nodded in response. "You meet them once and if you three don't like one another, you don't have to get involved with them anymore unless you want to."

I studied his features, trying to see if he was joking. When I didn't see any I slowly nodded as I mauled it over. "Alright." That's what I said, but the more I thought about it the more I tried to look at it from his point of view. "Um, maybe you could invite them to stay next weekend? I could pick up shifts during the week so I can get those days off?" I asked him.

My heart fluttered when I saw his eyes shine. "That sounds good." Berwald said gazing back to the parking lot and we fell in to silence again. "This was really bothering you wasn't it." He said sounding shocked.

Shifting, I let out a deep sigh. "Well, yeah. I'm not used to being put in that role." I couldn't help but reach for another cigarette after throwing my last one over the rail. Before I could put it to my mouth and light it, Berwald took it from between my lips. "Hey! Give it back." I demanded, holding out my hand.

"You'll do fine. You're understanding and have a great personality. They'll love you." He said putting the stick behind his ear and leaning in to give me a light kiss. "You don't need to stress about this.

I'd be lying if I said his words didn't make me feel better. "Fine." I said giving him my own kiss and taking the cigarette to put back in the pack. "I guess you want me to came back to bed so you can get sleep for work tomorrow. Am I right?" I asked teasingly, already knowing the answer.

Berwald just smiled and lightly pulled me by my arm back in to the apartment. It might have been that I was tired, or the Swede was a comfortable temperature, but I think it was mostly that he helped clear my mind. I don't know how he was able to do it though. Throughout my life, I seemed to always feel like I was the one comforting one of my co-workers, a child, I even have been that support for Lukas though he allowed me to lean on him. But with Berwald, he just made me feel safer. Laying back down, we both ended up shuffling around for a few minutes, trying to get comfortable. The blond settled on laying on his back, while I decided to curl up just about on top of him. His chest rocked me as he chuckled causing me to as well.

After we calmed down, we ended up just looking in to each other's eyes. It felt like I could drown at any moment, but I wasn't scared since I knew that Berwald would be there to catch me. "Did you really mean what you said out there?" I found myself asking in a low tone.

"Of course." He muttered, running his ran over my cheek in a soothing manner.

I smiled and leaned in to kiss him before suddenly having the exhaustion hit me and I was able to drift off to the Swede drawing slow circles on my back. No worries of the future bothered me at that time and it could arguably be the most peaceful sleep of my life.

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><p><em><strong>AN: This one took me a little longer due to work and school, but hopefully I can get a break soon to relax and clear my head. I would like to thank anyone who is reading and especially the people who are reviewing! It helps me try and focus on the story more than letting my mind wonder lol. XP**_


	9. Chapter 9

Berwald' POV

The week seemed to fly by with Mathias and I going to work and rarely getting to see one another due to scheduling. Despite the Dane continually assuring me that he was fine I still felt like he was uncomfortable about our plans. He did come back after seeing Lukas with a more relax and happy aura off him, which help relieve the stress of lawyers. My co-workers didn't help with all the questions they asked when I took down some of the pictures of Tino and I that had adorn my desk.

I had talked to Tino and even though he didn't seem the most comfortable with the situation at first, he eventually agreed to it. He said he would drop them off later on Friday, and that's where I found myself nervously walking back and forth in the living room. "Berwald calm down. Weren't you the one that told me not to stress about this?" Mathias commented from the couch. The night before, I had gone through and deep cleaned the house and rearranged furniture so it opened the room more. Mathias had pulled out an old camping cot he had and found clean sheets for his pull out couch. The Dane finally let out a sigh before pulling me down to sit next to him. "Deep breaths." He said locking my head between his hands as he turned it to face him. "You need to take deep breaths and stop fidgeting before you make me more nervous than I already am."

I did as he said, which earned my head it's freedom along with an approving nod. "Tino should have been here by now." I grumbled. "What's taking him so long?" I found myself asking.

"He didn't give you a set time and I bet he's caught in traffic." Mathias tried to reason. He and Tino hadn't seen each other since our break-up and there was no telling how they would interact, but since Mathias didn't seem to worry about that, I tried not to either.

My leg had started to bounce out of nervous habit and I could tell the blond next to me was about to say something, but a knock on the door stopped him. Shooting up, I rushed to the door and opened it. I must have caught Tino off guard since I notices the slight jump he gave. "Hey." I breathed out.

"Hey." The smaller man replied with a small wave. Mathias came up behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Sup Tino? How you been?" The Dane gave him his usual smile, but Tino's own smile seemed to drop.

"Hi Mathias. I've been as well as I can be under the circumstances." He replied averting his eyes. "Berwald, can I speak to you for a second…..alone." He added flickering his gaze to Mathias then to me.

"Ja." I said motioning for the boys to go inside with the tall blond, to which they obliged. Once the door shut, I looked to the Finn. "What is it?" I asked worrying something might be wrong with one of the boys.

"Do you really think this is a good idea? I mean, he doesn't have the best track record from what I heard at the bar, what with his drinking and multiple partners." His voice was low so not to draw attention.

I could feel my face heat up in rage. "Outside of the bar, how many times have you actually talked or hung out with him?" I asked calmly trying to keep my anger in check.

His body tensed up. "Well, I don't think I have other than the few times he's taken you or me home after a hard night." Before he could go off on a ramble I stopped him.

"So how are you going to judge him? You of all people know how different people can be outside of a work environment." This seemed to frazzle the small Finn more.

He crossed his arms. "That can be true for some, but when you work in such a free environment as a bar you don't have to hide that much about yourself and from what I know of that place, that's how they let their bartenders act." I opened my mouth but Tino help up a hand for me to stop. "I'm just looking out for the boys. I mean this isn't the nicest apartment complex around and I could hear some couple yelling at each other as we drove up. Now before you say more, I'm going to trust your judgment till I see anything different, but please know this isn't something I'm the most comfortable with." He paused to let me put my two-sense in, but all I could do is nod. "Alright then….." There was an awkward pause.

What happened next surprised me. Tino started to cry, but not in full break-down mode, just a few tears finding their way down his rounded cheeks. "Are you okay?" I asked softly.

He let out a sad laugh and brought up a hand to clear the trails. "With all that has happened, I still miss your presence in the house and seeing you here….." He calmed himself I little before continuing. "It just confirms that you're not coming back. You have a place, and a new partner to go with it. You want the boys to visit and stay the night. What am I supposed to do? Sit at home alone?"

When another burst of tears found their ways from his eyes and a sob was released, I couldn't help but pull him into a tight hug. "Shhhh." I tried calming him by rubbing his back like I use to always do. "Don't stay in. Go out, have fun. You need to have time to yourself and not have to worry about dealing with this, even if it is just a night or two."

When he collected himself, he pulled away a bit, but was still in the embrace. "How are you always able to make me feel safe and nervous at the same time?" Tino asked, but I know he didn't expect and answer. "Alright, I guess I don't have much of a choice. Make sure they get to school on time Monday." I nodded again which the shorter blond pulling me in for a sweet kiss to follow. "Have a good weekend." He said after pulling away and heading to his car.

I stood there on the porch for a couple more minutes. I know the kiss didn't mean anything. There was no passion in it, but I for some reason it made me feel guilty. After mulling it through my head, I finally decided that since it shouldn't be taken as a big deal, Mathias didn't need to know about it. Letting out a deep sigh, I straightened up and headed back inside.

The sight inside didn't really make me feel any less uneasy. Mathias was sitting in the armchair, leaning forward with his head resting on a hand. One of his legs refused to sit still as he bounced it. Bjon was sitting on the farthest side of the couch, playing on his videogame and ignoring everyone. Peter on the other hand sat closer to Mathias, but he kept his eyes on a yo-yo he was playing with. The room was filled with a defining silence and I didn't like it.

Mathias shot up a motioned for me to follow him to the kitchen. As soon as we crossed the barrier between the rooms, the Dane shut the small window allowing you to look into the living room. "I really don't think they like me at all." He said bringing his hand to his mouth and chewed on his thumbnail.

"Don't say that. You've only just met." I stated pulling his hand away from his face. I can't stand when people bite their nails in front of me.

"I mean it Ber. I tried to start multiple conversations with them of different topics and they just gave me a weird look and continued what they were doing in silence." He turned to look at the doorway to make sure they weren't standing there.

I grabbed on to his shoulders to steady him. This caused him to shoot his gaze back to me. "You need to calm down." I said in a strong and firm tone. "They're like that towards new people." He nodded in understanding. "You have a better bet of getting Peter to talk first, so try and work on him. Bjon will follow after 'cause Peter will drag him in." I began to rub his, now relaxing, shoulders and gripping the bright red fabric of the shirt as I did so. "Let's go back in there and I'll try and help as much as I can." I said pressing a light kiss on his forehead and motioned for him to lead the way.

Upon us reentering, the boys stopped whatever chit-chat they were involved in and went back to what they were doing before. Mathias gave me a look that said 'see' and I shook my head before sitting next in between them. Bjon moved over a bit so he wasn't as close to me, while Peter gave me a worried look. The Dane took his seat in the armchair and waited for me to break the ice.

"How has school been?" I asked shifting so I had a better view of Peter.

Bjon huffed and I knew he was rolling his eyes. Peter on the other hand shrugged. "It's alright I guess. One of my friends was talking about vacationing in New Zealand this summer and she wanted to see if I could go with." He said shyly, hinting that he was asking.

"You want to travel this summer?" I asked sending a look to Bjon who huffed.

Peter shuffled putting his phone face down. "Well, with all the stuff at home I thought it might be fun to do something like that and Bjon said…" At his name, Bjon shot around and glared at the young blond.

"Don't bring me into this. There's a reason I haven't brought this up to either of them!" He shouted before I shot him a look. "Alex wanted me to go to Austria with him." The red-head muttered going back to his game.

I bit my lip and looked to Mathias, who was wide-eyed. Turning my attention to Peter again I mulled it over. "So, you both want to travel out of the country for vacation and you weren't going to talk to me or Tino about it?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

Peter started fiddling with his fingers. "We didn't think either of you would let us go especially with…" He paused for a second glance at Mathias than back to me. "With all this." His voice was barely a whisper. I nodded showing I understood. "But, since you know now, can we go?" A small smile was on his face and I almost caved.

"I think we all need to work on having as much family time for now till everyone is situated with how the new schedules and dynamic will be." I said causing Peter's smile to drop and Bjon to huff.

Everyone grew silent and I could see Mathias getting even more restless., but it surprised me when he spoke up. "Do either of you boys know how to play Halo?" He bounced his gaze back a forth between the boys trying to gage their reactions.

Bjon actually looked away from his game. "Of course we have. I'm the best person I know at the game and I'll in the top 20% online. The real question is do you play Halo or just derp around with it like a noob?"

I was about to get on to him for being rude when Mathias cut in. "Really now? How about you and I put that theory to the test? You and me, each map." He stated getting Peter's attention as well.

"Can I play too? There is no way you can win a one on one. You need someone that knows his tactics." Mathias agreed.

Bjon was not thrilled about it. "That's not fair! Two against one, really?!"

I had a bad feeling about this. "Ber can be on your team than since he's not the best at it and you're such a skilled player. Deal?" The Dane stuck out his hand.

Bjon mulled it over before taking his hand and shaking it. "Fine."


End file.
